7 minutes agoAuthor: Shivakant Shukla
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Question- I am from Ahmedabad. I have an 8 year old son. For the last few days, I am seeing that his interest in going to school has reduced. He has started to go to school every morning. Sometimes he makes an excuse for stomach ache or headache, sometimes he says that there is no mind in school. His focus in studies has also reduced considerably, whereas it was not so earlier.
I explained it for this as well as adopted a way of scolding and beating, but there was no significant effect. I do not understand that it is just morning lethargy or there is any fear, sadness or pressure related to it. How do I help him as a parent? Please guide.
Expert: Dr. Amita Shringi, Psychologist, Family and Child Counselor, Jaipur
answer: I can understand your problem. It is difficult for a parent to handle this condition. But you understand that there is no fear or pressure behind it, it tells that you take your child’s feelings seriously.
Actually, the sudden behavior of the child is not just laziness or stubbornness. Many reasons may be hidden behind this. To understand this, first you should ask yourself and the child some questions. These questions will help to know where the problem is and how it can be solved.
It is important to look at the answers to these questions before taking any action, because many times the reason is not just the sluggish in the morning, but there is any fear, sadness or pressure inside inside. Children do not openly tell things like homework pressure, fighting with friends or fear of any teacher. You may find these things small, but many times children refuse to go to school even fearfully.
In such a situation, the sooner you recognize these reasons, the sooner you will be able to find a solution. Looking at the baby’s eyes, it will be understood that for him, school is not just a place of studies, but an whole world, where friendship, sports, teacher behavior and atmosphere are all important. For this, parents should take special care of some things.
Listen to him instead of getting angry
When the child refuses to go to school every day, parents often get angry and beat him. But this method is not good at all. Treat the child like his friend so that he shares his words with you without fear. Listen to the child’s words carefully. If he is saying that there is stomach ache or friends do not talk properly, do not ignore his words. Make him feel that you are understanding his problem.
Understand his feelings
Children do not just make excuses, sometimes real feelings are hidden behind their words. Sometimes the pressure of studies, sometimes the breakdown of friendship and sometimes the fear of a teacher. You have to understand what the real reason is. Knowing this is the first ladder of solution.
Make the morning routine fun
Many times the reason for not going to school is bus in the morning and fatigue. If the child sleeps late at night or the early morning starts under stress, then his mind gets worse. It would be better to prepare a bag and uniform at night and make it easy to play in the morning.
Get information from teacher and friends
How your child is in class can tell the best teacher. Ask them how it is his behavior between studies, brake time or friends. If the child is falling alone, then his friendship with small play-dots or group activities can be increased.
Make studies and homework easier
If the child feels heavy homework burden, then divide it into small parts. Make studies fun like sports or quiz. When the child completes a small task, praise his hard work. With this, he will consider studies not a burden but an opportunity to learn.
Keep an eye on health condition
Sometimes the child’s health is not really good. If there is such a complaint often, then do a checkup with a doctor. Also see whether the weight of sleep, catering and bag is correct. Many times small things related to health make a big problem.
Keep home atmosphere positive
Children absorb the atmosphere of the house very quickly. If there is an atmosphere of quarrel or stress in the house, then it also affects them. Try to have positive things in front of the child, there are laughter and love-filled atmosphere. This will increase his confidence and security sense.
Do not take bullet or fear lightly
If the child says that someone in school harasses him or the teacher’s strict behavior scares him, then do not ignore it. Contact the school immediately and find a solution to the problem. Teach the child to explain his inconvenience clearly and ask for help if needed.
Praise for small tasks
When the child is ready without tantrums or reach the bus smiling, then please praise him. The child will feel that his hard work is being noticed. Even small praise is a huge reward for him.
Take help from experts when needed
If the situation does not seem to improve for a long time, the child complains every day, then meet a child counselor. Experts understand the child’s feelings better and explain the correct solution.
In the end, I will say that remember that the child’s behavior is a sign that he needs your help and support. Be patient at this time and try to solve this problem with love.
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